Do you wonder if you’re in an abusive relationship? You could be and not even realize it. Lots of people are in them, and never know that they are, but there is something that’s just off. We all know physical abuse, but emotionally, our partners can be abusive, and many of us wouldn’t even know it. If you’re thinking not you, you might be surprised.
According to the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, there isn’t any one particular thing that stimulates a person to abuse their partner, and knowing what to look for, and being cautious can actually help you to survive an abusive relationship.
In the study, over 340 female college students were asked to do a series of questionnaires and surveys that measured how much conflict in relationships they have dealt with in the past. The surveys included questions regarding severe, as well as minor aggressive acts, such as kicking and pushing, injuries sustained, and emotional abuse that includes suspicious questions about where a partner has been and making him/or her feel small and insignificant in front of others.
Researchers found that 95 percent of the participants have actually been emotionally abusive, and 30 percent of them have been physically abusive. When asked why, scientists found that it had to do with the fact that when women cannot verbally express themselves, women become abusive because they are retaliating for emotional pain, they are angry, and sometimes they are just stressed. These findings suggest that stress and anger management might be helpful to reduce partner violence.
The American Psychological Association has found that over one in three women and over one in four American men have been raped, physically abused and/or stalked by a partner in their lives. In fact, interpersonal violence is the number one cause of homicides and deaths due to injury during pregnancy.
The best way to keep abuse from happening is by not “giving permission” for a person to abuse you, physically or verbally.
What to look for
There are some signs that a person will be abusive. Look for partners that hit or push in any way. This is an alarming indicator of the potential for abuse. Also, keep an eye out for insults. If a person easily uses hurtful words during an argument, or to undermine a person’s standing, then it’s a crucial to pay attention. This is a type of abuse and it can have a significant impact on a person’s overall self esteem. It can cause depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and poor general physical health.
Keep an eye out for the physical indicators that you’re in an abusive relationship. Things like punching walls, breaking objects and any type of property destruction is a sign that a person cannot control their anger, and it could become worse in future arguments.
Also, any type of sex that feels forced or coerced is a reason to be worried. We might not want to say it’s rape if it’s within a relationship, but no matter how committed you are, no still means no.
Also, if you feel as if your partner is keeping tabs on you and is trying to control you, then this is another possible sign of abuse. It may be time to seek help, so you can develop a plan to be safe. Even if your partner hasn’t been abusive yet, it is possible that it could happen, so knowing what to do can help save your life.
If you’re in an abusive relationship, or you think that you are, you can call 911 for help right away. Or, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (888) 799-SAFE. You can also call The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at 1-800-799-SAFE.